The Empty Armed Mommy

Let's talk about Mother's Day.  

This week and weekend will be all about the special qualities of moms.  The giving, holding, loving, patient mommies.  

Today, I want to take time  to talk to the mommies who are unable to hold their children in their arms.  

Each of my children are rainbow babies.  A rainbow baby is a baby born after a miscarriage, still birth, or death of a child.  I have three children whom I gave live birth to and five children whom I was never able to hold in my arms.  I am so grateful for my children that I get to spend hours with a day, yet a part of me still mourns the children who won't fill our home with laughter, memories, and I will never hear "mama" from their mouths.  

To my fellow mommies who have children in heaven playing with Jesus, I am going to hope that our children are playing together.  

You are a strong mommy, you lost a part of yourself when you lost your precious baby.  Allow yourself to grieve this week, allow your heart to be open.  Your little one may not be on the earth right now, but you are still their mommy.  You still have the love of a mother in your heart for your little one.  YOU ARE A MOMMY.  Don't let anyone ever tell you that because your child is not on earth that you are not a mommy, you are.  

Your heart may be breaking this week especially.  Write a letter to your little one and allow yourself to celebrate the life of your child, no matter if the child was eight weeks gestation or thirty five years old, allow yourself to celebrate the child.  Your child is what has made you a mommy.  

Take time to take care of yourself this week, this is what all of us mommies strive to do.  Something nice for ourselves.  Talk about your feelings with your husband or a close friend.  Journal.  Buy yourself some flowers.  Get a pedicure.  Paint a picture.  Make a happy memory.  Go for a walk.  Laugh.  Cry.  Do all those things that a mommy does.  

The grief of a mother losing a child is one that is never just gone.  The hopes.  The memories.  The reminders.  They are real.  They are true.  

This week celebrate you and all of those hopes, memories, and reminders.