Report Cards

Today was report card day in our home!  

This year has been a great struggle academically with my two school-aged children.  Our oldest child easily made honor roll every year before and this year it has been quite a challenge.  Our middle child is in kindergarten, and he has always been a one-of-a-kind, in his own world, doing his own thing, relaxed child.  I am happy to say that both of my boys have improved in their marks.  Our third grader has stayed at or improved in each subject.  Our kindergartner has improved in many areas.

This semester there have been many tears, much sweat, and not any blood, but I am pretty sure we were close.  Besides assigned homework, there was additional work to be done due to the boys not making high marks.  Having additional work for two children, when you have three children, makes for very very long nights.  However, I am glad that we bit the bullet and did the extra work.  I am spending time this evening looking up additional work in the areas they are still struggling in, addition to the additional work they have to do for the school.  Why do I do this?  They are smart, very smart children, and I want them to know it.

I didn't make good grades in school and due to moving around during my elementary years I missed much of the basics of school.  For instance, we left one state and I was just learning subtraction, we went to the next state and they were learning long division, I missed basic multiplication and division, and no one went back to teach me.  I had to learn while learning other basics.  This followed me through all my school years and I was often told that I didn't test well, and many times I was probably passed to the next grade out of pity!  It wasn't until about five years ago that I realized "I am smart!!!"  I went through twenty plus years thinking I wasn't smart, when in reality I didn't apply myself as I should have and didn't take opportunities of help that I could have.  My parents helped me a lot, I went to tutoring at an older woman's home, I don't remember her name, but I remember she always had candy and a drink for me while we did math.  I went to an outside learning center for tutoring.  However, I didn't go the extra mile when the opportunities were there.  I think in life, that is my biggest regret, because I now know that I am very smart, and I could have made very good grades.  I don't want my children to become adults and realize that they had it in them to make good grades.  I want to help pull it out of them and see them flourish as children and into adulthood.

With that, I have a schedule for my children that I try to keep each weeknight.

The third grader does half an hour on the computer, followed by twenty minutes of book reading, then homework, extra assigned school work, extra work I have for him, and then we read together for another twenty minutes.

While the third grader is doing that, our kindergartner uses the same time increments but on a different schedule.

He does his homework, extra assigned school work, extra work I have for him, twenty minutes of reading, half hour of computer, and them we we read together for another twenty minutes.

This schedule is rigorous and hard and some nights we don't stay on track, but often we do.  While the boys are doing their work, our three year old will play, color, or hang out with us.  They all play while I make dinner and then it is dinner, brushing teeth, and bed.  There are nights that I cry out of frustration because I don't understand (especially math), but then there are nights that we celebrate because things have clicked.

This past week the boys both had testing and they both exceeded their goals!  That is proof in itself that the extra work, the hard work is paying off!  If you find your children are not making grades you know they are capable of making, intervene, make appointments with your children's teacher to see how you can help your child, go the extra mile and have your children come with you on the extra mile.  It is not easy being a parent, and it is certainly very difficult being a parent that has goals for your children, but it is worth it!  You can do it!

New Year, New Goals

Seven years ago today, I did the best thing I could have done for my family.  I became a stay at home mom.

The first year of being a stay at home mom was difficult financially, learning to live on a singe income that was less than half of what we were making when I worked outside the home.  Realizing that sitcoms had stay at home moms in a light that was unrealistic. We essentially went back to the basics.  We were used to buying what we wanted, when we wanted, without a thought.  Eating out was a way of life.  I would get essentially a new wardrobe every weekend.

For a long time we did without internet, cable, and I learned quickly the art of making a meal out of three cans of food.  After I became a stay at home mom, we made poor financial choices that we didn't square away until a year and a half ago.  We are now debt free and in the process of rebuilding our good credit.  Protect your credit!

Now as a veteran stay at home mom and as a mom who has had experience being a work outside the home mom, I have learned many things:

1. The Joneses Suck:  Don't worry about what other families are doing.  Do what works for you and your family.  Learn from others, but don't get jealous and try to be like them.  Create your own life.

2.  You Either Manage Your Money Or Your Money Manages You:  We learned through very difficult experiences to manage our money.  Don't live within a box of not enough, alter your lifestyle so your money is enough.  Be aware that everyone has different financial situations, respect yourself and your husband enough to stay within your means.

3.  Create Your Own Happiness:  Being a stay at home mom isn't always glamorous and can sometimes be lonely.  If there is one aspect of being a stay at home mom that you absolutely love, make it a priority.  Don't depend on others to make you happy, this is your life, you need to take it by the horns.

4.  Take Time For You: Being a stay at home mom is a job.  No matter what anyone else says, it is a job!  Take time off.  Time off won't be what typical jobs are, you won't get fifteen minute breaks or a lunch break, but do what you need to do to take care of you.  I have girls nights often because I need time off.  I go to coffee with friends.  I try to make myself a priority a few times a month.

5.  Rely On God:  Cliche.  I know.  But true. Take time with God daily.  As a stay at home mom, you can't always block out a half hour to read your Bible and pray.  You can be in a constant state of prayer, open YouVersion and use a translation that has audio and listen to it, put on worship music.  Listen to sermons online or on tv as you go about your day.  When you are at your wits end, focus on Jesus.  Make Him your first priority and He will give you all the wisdom and strength you need.

If you want to be a stay at home mom, look at your options.  Decide what you can do without and begin cutting away the fat of your finances.  See if you can go to a part time job first then to being a full time stay at home mom.