Thank you!

We love watching the Olympics!  The athleticism and patriotism are amazing.  But these games, what gets me is the commercials!  Am I the only one that finds myself crying with the commercials?  

I wanted to take time to openly thank my parents.

I had some pretty difficult things happen in my childhood, but never at the hand of my parents.  I have parents who have been married for almost 38 years.  I grew up in a home that was fun.  It overflowed with love.  And my parents were my biggest fans.  Family was one of the most important things growing up, and it still is!

As an adult looking back, focusing on the positive, life was good.  Never did I need to question my parents love for me.  Oh, yes, I went through teen angst where I "thought" they didn't love me, but I think a lot of people go through that.  

I am unashamedly a mamas girl.  My mom makes everything better.  Even at my age, I run to my mom often.  I have a very special relationship with my dad that has grown into a bond where I know that he loves me and never have to question if I am special to him.  My dad has come to my rescue many many times.  

Dad and mom thank you.  Thank you for loving God.  Thank you for loving each other.  Thank you for loving each of us (your children, their spouses, and grandchildren).  Thank you for being our biggest fans.  As an adult, as a parent, I see the sacrifices you made when we were young.  Dwight Yokam tickets.  A new shirt.  Trust me days.  Those are a few things that come to mind.

Mom thank you for taking time to always listen to me.  I know you must have been exhausted each night when you would come and sit at my bed and listen to all of my thoughts.  You were and you are my best friend.

Dad thank you for taking special time with me.  Our dates at Dairy Queen when I was in high school through our times together now, are special to me.  You are a rock in my life.  When I see my own husband  having your traits, it makes me happy.

I could go on and on thanking you.  I am having a hard time seeing through my tears.  I am thankful that of all the parents God could have given me, He gave me you.

Thank you dad and mom.  I love you.

Forty Hours

When I was in high school a marquee on a restaurant said something along the lines of, "School has begun!  All the moms are rejoicing!" My mom heatedly said "That is so sad!  I do not feel that way!"  At the time, I didn't know what she meant.  I didn't realize what she was saying until yesterday.  Why yesterday?

This starts at last Thursday.  It was my kids first day back at school.  Kindergarten, second grade, and fifth grade.  We have been ready all summer, excitedly preparing, buying school supplies, and my children proudly announcing their grades to all who would hear.  My husband also took vacation from last Thursday to Wednesday to hang out with me.  I missed the kids while my husband was home.  There was another human in the house so it wasn't horribly quiet.  I did cry each day because I  missed my kids at home.

Yesterday he went back to work.  I cried.  I dropped off the kids at school.  I cried.  I met a friend for coffee.  I cried.  School let out early due to weather.  I cried, tears of joy.  This morning my kids went to school.  I cried.  I went home and slept for a couple hours.  I woke up.  I cried.  A friend called to check on me.  I cried.  We talked for almost two hours on the phone, hung up.  I cried.  Basically I am a hot mess.

For almost eleven years I have had at least one child at home with me almost all the time.  Prior to that - I worked outside the home and it was my husband and I at home.  And before that it was my parents, two brothers, and myself at home.  So I have never been alone.  Oh, I was looking forward to the "alone" time, but not forty hours a week.  When the kids are home, I try not to cling to them, but I do hold them closer perhaps than ever before.  Yesterday, my fifth grader said "mom I want to be homeschooled", inwardly, I celebrated.  I said, "Why?  I think you need to think about it, there are pros and cons for that.  Think about it.  I would love to homeschool you, but I need you to think about it."  We spoke about it for a while, and he finally admitted "mom I just don't want you to be sad anymore." Dang it!  I guess when I broke down crying during dinner Wednesday and said "I just miss y'all so much during the day" got his little heart strings.  So, I am not homeschooling him.  That would not be fair to him. 

Each of my children have amazing teachers, they go to a top notch school, the staff truly cares about the students.  I could go to the school and eat lunch with the kids every day if I wanted to.  I am horribly lonely.  I don't know if all moms feel like this or if I am just an oddity.  One of my friends is driving her youngest child to college today, I cry for her.  I don't want to think about that.  I am just so lonely I could cry...Oh wait, I am!

I have about forty hours a week that I can do something for myself.  Each day I could plan something.  Except for those days already brightly highlighted in green, because those are the days my babies are home.  I have had lots of suggestions, I am truly looking into each of them on how I would like to do the activity.  I did not expect my heart to hurt this bad or for me to watch the clock and countdown the hours and minutes before I leave to get my kids. 

My question today - is how have other moms survived this transition?