Prior to the surgery I was terrified. Scared I wasn't going to survive the surgery, scared anesthesia wouldn't work properly and I could feel the whole thing but couldn't say anything, scared of the breathing tube. The staff at the hospital I was at were amazing, absolutely amazing. My doctor came in before the procedure and asked if he could pray with us, so the doctor, my husband, and I held hands and prayed. Now that gave me some peace. The procedure went well. The blood loss wasn't horrible so that was good. The doctor found my bladder sewn to my uterus from the c-sections and had to remove major scar tissue from that then had to build a cuff as an alternate cervix for me.
After having three c-sections, I was certain that having a lapriscopic total hysterectomy and Bilateral Salpingo-Oophorectomy would be a piece of cake. I was wrong. The pain afterwards was so severe. Even today the pain is incredible. I finally figured out last night why it was so bad. Not only am I almost five years older than the last time I had surgery. But after a c-section you have all those happy hormones. After a hysterectomy and BSO you have no happy hormones. I am trying a patch for hormone replacement therapy, that is interesting.
So I have been home for just over a week now. A week that is a fine tuned rotation and delivery system of doing everything I can't do right now.
My parents have been such an amazingly huge help with the kids. Taking them places, picking them up, making things as normal as possible for them, and having fun. They had a slumber party at my house the night before and the night of my surgery. As I am getting around the house more I am finding things they did while we were gone. Things like fix light bulbs, stock us up on toilet paper and paper towels, and restock our supply of clothes hangers. I don't even know if I have said thank you. Thank you mom and dad, you really are the best. You remind me of Grandpa and Grandma during certain seasons of my childhood, just dropping little blessings without saying a word. My parents are the best!
My husband....last night I was sitting on the couch in a nice medicated state watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians and at the same time watching my husband iron all the kids clothes for the week. That is fifteen outfits. He has kept the laundry up. The house is clean because of him. He is doing everything I would normally do and he is doing it excellently. The nights our friends don't bring us dinner, he makes dinner. He makes the kids lunches for school. He is helping me with hygiene needs, things I didn't think we would be doing for each other for at least another sixty years. All of this plus working his full time job and doing the church activities he does. He has not complained one time. I have known I have a keeper. But let me tell you, this man of mine is an amazing man. He is the most manly man yet gentle man, the most nurturing man but the most hard working man, he is absolutely amazing.
Our friends have been amazing, the texts and messages I have received. Some I responded to in a very medicated state and when I re-read them I really hoped my friends could decipher. We have friends who have volunteered and brought us dinners. Friends who stopped by just to bring snacks for the kids. Friends who ask to just come over and sit with me and talk.
And my Grammy. Before my surgery I was in a constant text group with my Grammy and my Aunt, lots of prayers happening there. My grammy came by my house every day last week with lunch. She picked up my mess as I dropped my food on my feet because I wasn't quite functioning. She sat on the sofa while I slept the days away. My grammy is the best. Right now she is coming over with dominoes and pizza so we can play a game of Mexican dominoes and share some pizza. She checks on me every day to make sure I am okay. She really is the best!
So while this recovery is much more painful than expected and while my emotions are like a Dr. Seuss book "oh the places you'll go", I am grateful for the love that surrounds me. I really don't think there is a word that can describe my great gratitude and love I feel right now.
