Do You Want Success?

I was a bad student.  Wait no, I wasn't a bad student.  I was a horrible, no good, very bad student.  I wasn't motivated to succeed, was insecure, and was socially promoted.  I went to learning centers to help me learn to learn.  As a parent, I want my children to succeed in school.  I don't want them to just succeed, I want them to want to succeed.  

I have realized that success in school takes work.  It takes work for the parent.  It takes work for the student. It takes work for the teacher. Children are being taught more at an earlier age than twenty years ago when I was in school.  The education system is no longer what it was in 1985.  I learned letter and number recognition in kindergarten.  My preschooler is learning that and is not as advanced as her peers; many of her peers are reading words, books, and writing words.  I was reading when I was four years old, so I think that is great.  My older two children are learning things I learned when I was at least two grades ahead of them.

The answer is not to bash the school system.  It is not to bash the teachers or school administration.  However, my children go to some top notch schools and have top notch teachers so I can't complain about that at all!

The answer is to be present for our kids.  As a parent take time to research how your children are being taught new material.  Math is not taught like it used to be.  I respect that the teaching methods are much different and I learn as my children are learning.  But, as they master a subject, I show them how I learned it.  I don't tell them that what they are being taught is stupid or dumb.  I research and I help them.  

As parents we have so many resources literally at our fingertips that our parents did not have when we were in school.  I am constantly googling things my children are learning.  I still make flash cards from index cards for vocabulary and spelling words.  There are stores that sell teaching materials you can use at home.  And let's not even talk about the plethora of information on Pinterest.  

Some resources I use that are inexpensive or cheap are:
www.teacherspayteachers.com
www.pinterest.com
www.google.com
www.softschools.com
www.keepkidsreading.net
www.teachingwithsimplicity.net

One thing I have also learned, especially with my children's teachers, if I don't understand something, I ask them and they help me understand so I can in turn help my children.

Remember, the school system is not out to get you or your children.  Teachers want children to succeed.  When parents work with teachers and both work with students the work gets easier all the way around.

Lets work together to help our children be successful!

The Bullet

November 16....today I am grateful for the bullet shell I found in my washing machine.  (Pause and let that statement just sink in for a moment)

As I was switching my fourth load of laundry from the washer to the dryer today, I noticed among the loose change, (I consider the washing machine my piggy bank), there was a bullet shell!  Yes that was very odd, but not as odd as the live lizard I found in my washing machine once.  The kids learned a lot of new words that day, but let's move on to the bullet shell.

I made a "you might be a redneck..." joke to my husband as I showed him the shell.  He looked at it and told me that it was the shell from the bullet that Joel used to kill his first deer.  Please don't do the math from when that deer was killed to today, the number of laundry-less days is embarrassing.  Joel is our six year old son and he killed his first deer, a buck, on his first hunting trip this month.  Last night my husband and I ate some venison steak that was tremendous, some steak from the deer that Joel shot.  The deer that my husband processed in our kitchen one night after I went to bed.  The rule in my home is deer have to be processed either when I am out of the house or after I go to bed.

I am thankful for that bullet shell, because at six years old my children have the opportunity to begin providing meat for our family.  My oldest son has provided meat for us as well from a deer.  My husband has filled our freezer after his hunting trips.  I am thankful that my sons, and daughter (if she chooses), have this amazing experience to hunt and kill deer for our family.  I am thankful that I married into a family where hunting season is just as important as major holidays.

Before I end this post about my thankfulness of a bullet shell, I must share a story that happened about three years ago.  This goes in line with the "you might be a redneck if..." We had bought our oldest son a BB Gun for Christmas a few years ago.  One evening my husband was home with the kids while I was out, and all went well.  However, the next morning he texted me and said "Oh yeah there might be some BBs in Reese's diaper." Sure enough later that week there were some BBs in her diaper.  So let's just go ahead and say it "You might be a redneck if you have ever found BBs in your child's diaper!"

I am still thankful!

The good news...I didn't fall off the face of the earth!  The odd news...for the first time in about six years I have not done a daily "thankful".

I am going to use this post to catch up!

In no particular order (drum roll please)

- I am thankful for my family of origin.

- I am thankful for my second family...the family I married into.

- I am thankful that my children aren't typical.  

- I am thankful for my job

- I am thankful that I have learned to be confident no matter what I weigh.

- I am thankful for specialists.

- I am thankful for my mini-van!

- I am thankful for the internet.

- I am thankful for coffee.

Now lets see if in the coming days I can continue to post daily thankfulness!!!!

Day Three...you thought I forgot did ye!

November 3 - 

Oh no, I didn't forget!

Day Three is about my friends!  I am so thankful for my friends.  I have a great number of friends and in those friends there are varying degrees of closeness.  I am thankful to the friends that I have lost, they have taught me who I don't want to be and who I don't want to be around.

While writing this post, I am thinking specifically about the diverse demographics of my friendships.  One of my very best friends in a widow in her mid-80s.  Another one is a mom a few years older than me, our friendship took a while to come to fruition, but we found a common denominator in both having special needs children, that commonality has formed into an amazing friendship.  Another best friend is a cancer-survivor in her middle years.  I have friends who are the ones I see once in a blue moon, yet we are able to pick up like we have never been apart.  Some of my favorite memories with my friends involve us having much more fun doing normal things than what is expected.  Things like laughing until tears run down our legs.  Getting lost and making a short trip into a mini-road-trip.  Crying on each other's shoulders.  We share the biggest excitements and the deepest sorrows.  I am thankful for these types of friendships.

I love seeing the spectrum of my friendships of acquaintances through family and friends who have become family.  There are times I get lonely, but then I think about this amazing group of people who call me friend and who I am privileged to call friend and remind myself how amazingly blessed I am.  Growing up it was difficult for me to make friends, but as an adult I find that much easier.  I have learned to hold my friends in the palm of my open hand and not to cling too tightly.  I have learned the fine art of boundaries.  And I have learned the immense joy in finding a friend who values your relationship as  much as you do.  It took me a little while to realize that not every friend would be my best friend but the different levels of friendship are valuable in their own uniqueness.

Today, think about your friends.  Send your friends a little "thank you" or "thinking about you" sometimes.  Foster and nurture your friendships.

To my friends....THANK YOU!!!

Welcome To Day Two!

November 2, what a great day!!

Today I will exude my gratefulness for my husband.  Jonathan and I met sixteen years ago and have been together almost as long.  We met the second week I lived in Mississippi and we became fast friends.  I was still in my wild phase and when one guy and I would part, he would be the one I would turn to.  He was a faithful friend, almost like what I imagined a big brother would be.  We both attended the same college and had breaks at the same hours during the day.  We began going to lunch together.  Lunch turned into love!

Jonathan has so many amazing attributes...for the sake of reading time and to keep the gag factor low, I will hit on just a few.

Jonathan is a hard worker.  He is one of the hardest working people I know.  When he commits to something, he commits full heartedly.  It is the same with his employment and ministry.  He jumps all in.  As a wife I am so proud of that and am so happy to have the security of a man who likes to work.

Jonathan doesn't stay stagnant.  In just a little while he will be completing his degree in ministry and I am excited to see where that will lead him and our family.  He consistently looks for opportunities to better himself.  When he receives true constructive criticism he acts on it to fix things within himself.

Jonathan is humble.  He has so many reasons he could be peacocking around.  He doesn't.  He is true to himself and stays humble.  I believe it is one of those things that if you've got it, you don't have to flaunt it because it is already there.

Jonathan is a compass for us.  He sees things that I don't see and pushes us to be the best family we can be.  He helps us go in the correct direction for us to fulfill our goals as a family unit and as five individuals within the unit.  He is a dad that has learned to really be a dad.  He has taken what his mentors have told him about being a dad and applied them to his life.  He has started a new legacy for us, one that is amazing.

In our years together Jonathan and I have been through some really difficult things that could have easily broke our marriage.  Daily we have a life that is difficult and he is a backbone for our family.  While I put up a strong persona, with him I can let it down and be safe.  He is a pillar that I can depend on.  I know that with him there is a stability.

I am so grateful that out of all the fish in the sea, he chose me to be his.  He is my best friend.  My lover.  My fighting partner.  He is my life partner.  My hand holder.  He is my dance partner.  My brainstorming buddy.  Jonathan is the half that makes me whole.  I am thankful for him.

Your First Day of Thirty

Every November I like to post one thing I am thankful for daily.  In the past I have used Facebook as the forum for my thankfulness, however this year I will be using my blog as my platform.  I am excited to share my thankfulness with you!

Today, November 1, I am thankful for.....

MAKEUP!

My passion for makeup started at a very young age, I remember going into my mom's makeup as a little girl and making myself (or my brothers) pretty.  Eyeliner, eye shadow, blush, and lips would make my heart race. When I was told that makeup was off limits for a time being, I would make beautiful faces on paper using makeup.  I was eleven years old when my mom gave me permission to do my makeup "one time only."  We had just moved from Texas to South Dakota and were living in adjoining hotel rooms.  My family was in one room and I went to the other room.  In the little hotel bathroom, I saw a transformation as I mimicked what I saw actresses on television and models in magazines did with their faces.  With no guidance, I was transformed from an eleven year old girl into a sixteen year old teenager with the line of the eyes, the brushing of mascara, and the painting of my lips.  I then knew the power of makeup.  And I then knew that a life long love affair with beauty had begun.  







When I was a junior in high school, I checked out a copy of Bobbi Brown's Book "Bobbi Brown Beauty", in it I learned all kinds of secrets of beauty, cosmetics, and techniques.  This became a book I would check out at many libraries for years to come.  







In my younger years I wanted to have a career with makeup, still there are days where the idea tickles my fancy.  There is something addicting about the aroma of fresh lipstick, the feel of new foundation, and the excitement of a new shadow color.  I am a QVC watching junkie, I have yet to order from it, but often times I am found just watching the cosmetic segments.  







About six years ago I was introduced to this wonderful shop, this amazing haven for all beauty lovers, in my mind's eye heaven must be like this shop.  ULTA.  I would get lost in Ulta for hours just browsing, testing, and loving the cosmetics.  It was known when I would need my fix and I would just drive and go into my haven.  My all things beautiful.  




My love of makeup has been passed down to my daughter.  At four years old she loves going into my closet and into my makeup bureau, yes I have a large four drawer bureau just for beauty supplies, and she finds her "lips".  She has yet to master the art of staying in the line of her God-given lip shape, but hey she doesn't color in the lines at school either.  She often comes out of my closet with mascara on her cheeks, lipstick on and around her lips, and eye shadow from her eyes to her hairline.  In my  mind all I see is Mimi Bobeck from the Drew Carey Show, but I tell her how beautiful she looks and to let mommy help her blend it a little bit more.  My daughter hates dresses, bows, and having her hair brushed....but oh, the girl loves makeup!





My current fetish changes as the seasons do.  My 120 nail polish collection doesn't seem to be expanding, but my mascara container is filling quickly.  My current favorite is "They're Real" by Benefit.  It is such a fun mascara!  






I love eye liner and am experimenting with different colored liner, I really love purple right now because it makes my green eyes pop!  I often reference the Pantone Color Wheel for the season I am and find a trend color I like and make it a staple in my cosmetic wardrobe.

I am thankful for makeup because it allows my creativity to flow into a tangible canvas.  It makes my heart race like the hoofs at the Kentucky Derby.  Makeup makes me salivate like Pavlov's dog each time it heard the bell ring.  When I think about makeup, my excitement bubbles over...like a cork in a bottle of champagne ready to pop. Makeup for me is a passion, as much as selfies are a passion for Kardashians!  

Stepping In

Last week something tremendously unexpected happened....I started a job outside the home!  When I say unexpected, I mean UNEXPECTED!!!

About six weeks ago I started thinking it would be fun to find a part time office job.  I love working in offices.  I didn't really tell anyone about it, it was just a thought.  A little less than two weeks ago, on the way to take our boys to football practice, I received a phone call out of the blue.  A phone call that led to a job offer that led to me accepting the job.  Do I like my job? I LOVE IT!

My friends asked me questions the first week I was back, I wanted to share them.  This is especially for any other stay at home moms who are considering going back to the workforce.

1.  What is it like going to the restroom by yourself?
- I made my co-workers come with me and stand outside the door, ask me what I was doing, stick their hands under the door, and wiggle the handle while I was using the restroom.  No, no, not really.  Although it was such an unique feeling, I am certain that my coworkers think I have a bowel and bladder issue...which it is just the fact that I haven't used the restroom without an audience in ten years!

2.  What do you talk about?
- The first day, there was hardly any chatter.  Five hours of the only sound being the sound of fingers on the keyboard.  Amazing.  I am pretty sure it was a taste of heaven.  Honestly, I often wonder if I am speaking correctly to the other adults.  I am pretty quiet because I am afraid I will randomly say "we don't do that", "your underwear are on inside out", "we keep our clothes on", "your hand smells like poop" or "stop eating your boogers!"  I am still in that socially awkward phase.

3.  What is the biggest change?
- Clothes and hygiene!  I now shower.....well lets not get all personal, lets just say my  hygiene habits have improved greatly.  I had to buy some new outfits before I started work (shucks), because t-shirts and yoga pants were my wardrobe basics.  

4.  How do you keep up with your housework?
- Something amazing has happened.  When I return home in the evenings, my home is the same as it was when I left!  Housework has become much easier, mainly because there is no one following me around the house undoing the cleaning I did.

Being a stay at home mom was a great season.  A season I thoroughly enjoyed.  I stayed home with the babies until they weren't babies anymore (but they will always be my babies).  I am blessed to not HAVE to work, but have the option to work and work in a place that is a good fit for me.  I appreciate my husband sacrificing so much the past eight years so I could be a stay at home mom, his support of me being at home.  I appreciate the fact that when I got the job offer he was the one telling me to go for it!  He sends me texts most mornings just reminding me I have what it takes.  He is my biggest fan.  


When the door for a job outside the home opened up, I didn't just stepped in, I ran full force!