You Can Make A Change

Parenting is easy, said no one.  Ever.  Of all the things I have done in life, parenting is the hardest, but most fulfilling.  Being a mom means to question all you do, if it is good for you, is it also good for your children?  Parenting is a constant trial and error, you hope you are doing something positive and at the same time praying you don’t ruin these little human beings entrusted to you.

My children are older, by older I mean the youngest is five and the oldest is eleven.  It’s not all old hat to me, but I am not at the beginning of my parenting journey either.  When my oldest was born, social media was not as big as it is now.  If I needed an answer, I would ask my mom or look at “What to Expect the First Year” by Heidi Murkoff.  The pressure was little to fit into a certain mold of a parent.  Sure, there were expectations, but they were expectations I allowed to inundate my life.

I have true compassion for new moms in this day of social media, mom wars, and having 145 opinions of each question you have.  We have all had things that worked best for our children, and we want to help other moms with that, but not everything works for every child.  In my own mom journey, my two oldest slept through the night from the get-go, they enjoyed sleeping.   My youngest didn’t sleep through the night for three years; yes you read that right, three years.  Through groggy eyes and coffee induced energy I mothered my three children for three years.  I tried everything that was put on social media about helping your child sleep through the night.  It was a very hard period. 

As a mom who is now confident in my parenting and that I am, hopefully, doing a good job rearing my children, I look at what other moms who are doing as great.  I don’t see them as aspirations most of the time.  I admire them.  I respect them.  And sometimes, I will incorporate what others do in our every day routine.

I want to encourage moms to “do you”, do what works for you.

If you mill your own wheat and make all your own food, do it well!  If you buy bread and microwave dinners, be proud!

If you use cloth diapers, good for you.  If you use disposable diapers, good for you.

If you breastfeed your baby, formula feed your baby, or use a feeding tube; good job feeding your baby.

If you homeschool your children, have fun!  If your child attends public school or private school, enjoy the experiences!

If you work outside the home, be proud.  If you are a stay at home mom, be proud.

With social media, we are able to see everyone’s highlight real, and it is amazing.  I love that we can share our lives so easily.  On the flip side, there is the comparison trap.  Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in comparing your life to others.  What is easy for one family may not be possible for another family, and that is okay. 

Moms, parents, lets encourage each other.  In a world where there is a constant rival, let’s make motherhood peaceful.  Also, when we see another mom needing some encouragement, jump in to encourage.  Encouragement doesn’t have to be a comment on a facebook post.  Some of the most encouraging times for me came in private.  The mom who sent me a little note to let me know they think I do a good job – getting a note in the mail is amazing.  The moms (yes plural) who brought me Starbucks because they knew I was surviving on coffee and Jesus.  The mom who stopped by and held my baby so I could sleep or shower.  As I have continued in my parenting journey, I have been able to pay it forward for other moms.  It is sometimes difficult to ask for help and even harder to accept it.  But it is needed.

On this second day of 2017, make it a goal to make this year a bit kinder.  Make it more cheerful.  You can be the change.