Where has the year gone?

I am writing this, right after I pulled off yet another month on my calendar.  Only one page left in our 2014 calendar, where has the year gone?  2014 has been an amazing year for me so far.  I have become unapologetically me.  I am confident in my own skin and own who I am today, I love who I am today because I fought to become her.  Tomorrow begins the best month of the year, the month in which yours truly was born many many many moons ago.  Looking at where I am now in my life, I must say I am happy. I am humbled, yet proud.  I am in my mid-thirties, have been married for twelve years, have three amazing children.  I own my own business, run a successful blog, am a published writer, and am able to mentor other women in writing, mothering, and just being a lady.  That, I am proud of!  I laugh easily and cry with true emotion, emotion that is not anger or sadness, just emotion.  I am no longer afraid to hug people or say "I love you", because I know it is something I am offering to them, and it is a true feeling I have, it is a gift I give to them.  I don't hide behind past hurts or labels, but stand boldly in front of those and declare who I am today.  In the past year I have seen friendships change, family dynamics shift, and as I stated before, I am more confident than I have ever been.

As we enter into December, lets look at ourselves.  Look at where we are today, where we want to be.  What can we do to become who we want to be?  The process to becoming who you desire to be is not always smooth and sometimes is quite bumpy.  But hold on my dear ones, because when you get near your destination, it becomes very smooth, and before you know it you will be riding on the coattails of confidence and laugh with no fear of the future.  Hold on tight to those dreams and desires you have and never stop pursuing those!

Here is to an amazing December!

Cheers,
Rebecca

The Little Things

This morning as I was driving my children to school, it hit me how incredibly blessed I am.  I am in my early-mid thirties and living my dream.  The dream I have had since I was a little girl.  The dream of my knight in shining armor, my dream home, and my children.  So, my knight in shining armor is a draftsman by day, a soundman by evening and Sundays, and a bible college student by night.  He is a hunter when time allows, and provides meat for our family.  My dream home, well we aren't quite there yet.  We live in a very nice home in a wonderful neighborhood, but not quite the dream home yet.  A nice thing about being married to a draftsman, is I can tell him what I want in your dream home and he can draw it for me.  My children, oh what amazing blessings they are.  What intricate, individual people they are.  Sometimes, I look at them and am in awe that they each came from the exact same parents and gene pool and yet they are so different.  We have one that is very confident, kind, and a go-getter.  We have one that is not as confident and a free spirit.  And we have one that is a confident, bold, non-conformist.  It is amazing trying to individually parent each child while having a common goal for them as a whole.  I am so blessed that my children are individuals and don't just go with the flow.  They are definitely leaders in their own right.

I remember this time of year about seven years ago, I was working at a job I hated. My boss didn't support the fact that I was a mother and had a small child in day care. I would drop my oldest off at daycare and drive to work everyday in tears and crying.  I would pray that I would be able to be a stay at home mom by the end of the year.  I quit January 2, after a Christmas vacation from my job.  That was the easiest and best choice I have ever made.  At first, it was hard going from a dual income home to a single income home.  Our income was cut by more than half when I quit.  We had years of hard financial times.  I went from literally buying a new wardrobe every weekend for each of us, having a lot of extra amenities, and eating out daily to not being able to afford new underwear, no cable or internet, and eating packaged food at home.  Oh, it was difficult financially.  But, through the seven years we have learned a lot of lessons.  We are now living comfortably within our means.  We have added two children and a cat to our family. We are so blessed.

I am blessed to be a stay at home mom.  During trainings at my old job, one question often asked was "what is your dream job", my response would always be "a stay at home mom."  The other employees would often laugh at me or ridicule my answer.  I stuck to my guns and look at me now!  I am blessed that I can do what I want to do without asking for leave or worrying too much about schedules.  Just this morning I was able to have coffee with a sweet friend, visit another friend, and bring my husband and the secretary in the office coffee.  I also had a parent/teacher conference with one of my children's teacher. I am so blessed to be able to spend my days cleaning my home or hanging out with my friends.  I can be at all of my children's school activities and be an active room mom and PTA Board member.

I wish I could bottle up this blessed feeling I have today and just give it to each person.  Today I have a smile on my face.  I have a pep in my step.  I am blessed, and it is not because of just one big thing, but lots of little things.

Don't Be An Unknown

There is that moment in your life when you realize you don't know someone and someone doesn't know you, even though you should know each other well.  This week someone I grew up with moved away, and I realized today that this person doesn't really know me.  Doesn't know my children.  It made me sad.  It made me sad really for my children, because they are amazing people.  It made me sad because this person knows about me basically through social media, even though they lived in the same city as me.  At first I got angry, and then I reminded myself I cannot fix what is done, I cannot create relationships where there are none.  

I don't want that to happen with anyone else whom I grew up with, or who I would like to be a part of my children's life. I texted the closest person to a sister to me, my husband's sister.  We call each other sister, introduce each other as sister, neither of us had a birth sister so we know the longing for that relationship, and even though we don't see each other often I know she is there.  I texted her and basically said that I wanted to get our families together more often, I want my children to know their aunt and uncle and grow up being friends with their cousins.  We agreed that we need to do that, and we agreed also that our schedules are extremely busy.

I spent a lot of time today analyzing those relationships closest to me, all of which are friends that have become family.  My unbiological sisters.  How, in this fast paced world can we have significant relationships with those?  How can our children have significant friendships with their peers? 

I have coffee with my friends frequently, generally one on one, but sometimes in a group.  That is one way to foster a good relationship.  My oldest child started having and attending sleepovers this year, his birthday is just a few days away, one of his closest buddies (they have been friends since day care) will spend the majority of the weekend with us.  His other close buddy will meet us on his actual birthday for some fun we have planned.  Birthdays are a great way to build those lasting relationships.

As I sit here, blogging on my computer, snapchatting on my phone, and listening to the TV, I long for a tech free me for a bit.  I know that is a rather impractical longing, seeing as technology is only becoming more and more necessary.  I want to see my friends more than I see their facebook likes.  I want to sit down and make eye contact with those I love more than on snapchat.  I want my children to have meaningful childhood relationships that hopefully go on into adulthood.  I am grateful that so many of my girlfriends have stepped in and become "aunts" to my children, even if my friends don't have children my children's age, there is a meaningful relationship there.  My children have had friends that their mom and I were pregnant at the same time and I see those friendships lasting through childhood.  I can't help but hope that these relationships will get more face to face time than facetime.

Do any other moms desire the same type of people interaction and relationships I desire?  Let me know how you foster these relationships! 

Take It Back!

My youngest child is in her fifth week of preschool.  So far I have had 60 hours of childless free time, but I realized yesterday that I have actually had NO me time in this sixty hours!  Friday of last week I was so exhausted from running around like a chicken with its head cut off...or perhaps I should sum it up as I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off and then suddenly I ran into my head!  Tired.  Worn out. Overscheduled.  Out of control.  That has been me.  I love love love doing things that help others and I love volunteering and being involved.  It came to a head when I felt that something was going to fall through the cracks and it was not going to be good.  Everything I do is important and everything I am involved in effects someone else or lots of other people.  However, in these sixty hours I have been put on the back burner.  My physical health.  My mental health.  My emotional health.  And, gulp, my spiritual health.  They have all been put on the back burner.  My effectiveness would be much less if I was the one that fell through the cracks.  I was standing at the edge of the crack, precariously close to falling in while juggling full plates above my head.  I was one foot over the edge, teetering right here, right at the cusp.  If one thing on one of my plates shifted, I would fall into the crack, through the crack, in a downward spiral.  STOP!

I believe if I didn't have AHA moment this weekend, I would be a free falling through the crack of my own busyness.  STOP!  PULL BACK!  TAKE IT BACK....TAKE BACK YOUR SCHEDULE!  Those are words my mind was screaming at me.  I have learned, the hard way, to listen to myself when I am close to the edge.  What does this mean?  How do I go from

to

without failing miserably?

I have thought about it.  I am going to have to make myself and my all around health a priority.  That means using that awful four letter-two letter word "no".  Yes, that word!  

I need to put myself on my planner.  Stop over-scheduling my outside activities.  Stop over-volunteering.  I have to stop and remember that I cannot be everywhere at one time.  I cannot be everything at one time.  Lets face it, I am not God.  In each thing I am involved in I am not the only person there, it is okay to expect other people to do things as well.  

During the week day, I think four hours max per week is what I am going to be using to volunteer.  The rest of the time I will be doing things for myself and spending time with those I love.  Wow, I feel so selfish saying that but, at the same time I am free!

My question for you....have you ever had to step back and re-evaluate?  What did you do?

Ode To Coffee

Oh coffee how I love thee!  
There is an abundant amount of love for you my dear coffee. 
A day without coffee would be melancholic and oppressive.  
There is just something about the warm liquid heaven cascading down my throat that makes my heart sing. 
Your delectable aroma filling my home causes me to salivate at the mouth.  
Combining just the right amount of cream and sugar with my coffee makes its consumption enjoyable to my innermost being.  
There are few highs and pleasures that can be likened to that experienced by coffee.  
Going a morning or day without you, my dear, coffee causes a pain unlikened to any I have ever experienced. 
 I cannot fathom the thought of a life without you my beloved and treasured coffee. 
There are no words or derivatives that can deftly explain my love for you my dear coffee.

Welcome to Google University

My oldest child is in third grade and his homework is much more difficult than when I was in third grade.  Or, perhaps I don't remember third grade, I don't quite remember what I ate for breakfast today...oh wait, did I have breakfast today?

Not a day goes by that I don't google at least one problem of his homework.  Today there was math homework which included writing an array, and how many stickers does Fernando have if he has three pages and eight stickers on each page.  First, google array, it means to arrange items in order...lesson one of third grade math for me.  An array doesn't mean a large range of items in math terms.  Interesting.  Also, the answer to this problem is not a purple people eater from outer space, which is what it could have been with my ....uh-hum....vast knowledge of math.  I finally found the answer to this problem and was able to assist my son in understanding how many stickers Fernando does in fact have.

Each year the homework is getting more and more difficult ***gulp*** but I assume that is how it is supposed to be.   Our homework station now includes more than pencils, crayons, and paper for the children.  It includes the laptop, scratch paper, and pencils for mommy to figure out this math along with her children!  

I know by the end of the school year I will be a proud graduate of Google University and also know much more math than I did at the beginning of the year! 

So, tell me....how many of you refer to google during homework time?!

Passions

What are you passionate about?  What defines you?

These are questions that have been on my mind recently.

I have come to the conclusion that I am passionate about three main things:

1.  My family - being a stellar housewife and stay at home mom

2. Volunteering - serving at my church, PTA at school, and helping others in the community

3.  Writing - writing blogs, my column for Gulf Coast Woman Magazine, and mentoring other women in writing

Finding your passions and what defines you is a rite of passage of sorts into a new season of life.  I have been thrust into a season of finding out who I am, what I am, and where I am going.  It is sad, terrifying, and at the same time exciting.  Learning about myself without the guilt of being selfish is amazing.

Take time to learn about yourself.  You deserve to be the best, most passionate you.